This is one of the most common confusion that each of one us goes through after an argument or fight. Often, we tend to feel that we are angry with the other person(s) involved in the argument. But the truth is that it may not be anger always. There is the feeling of being hurt with the words used. Hence, it is very important for first understand the difference between hurt and anger. This is because one needs to release these emotions accordingly from the system and process them completely.
In Family Constellations, it is often observed that the feeling of hurt is being carried through generations to be processed and it becomes one of the major obstacles to thrive in life. When someone is using words which the other person feels are humiliating or disrespecting, then there is a rush of anger in the body. Now to understand deeply whether it is anger, one needs to check the body symptoms. Our bodies are very intelligent and hence understanding these symptoms can be of great help.
When one is angry, they can feel heat flowing through their body especially in the stomach area. You can check this for yourself. Remember any incident which you feel made you feel anger within. Let your body experience and feel this anger completely. And now notice the body symptoms. You will feel heat inside the body rising up. At this juncture, you can release this completely and flush it out of the system. Take in a few deep breaths and let go of all the anger you feel towards yourself, the incident as well as the people involved in this. Keep taking deep breaths until you feel it is flushed out of your system.
Now, let’s take the case of hurt. When you’re hurt, you may feel pain and heaviness in the body. You feel weighty especially in the chest area. To test this, once again recollect an incident where you felt hurt, I mean deeply hurt. Relive that incident totally by feeling all the feelings and sensations. Relive it as if it was happening now in this moment. Now, it is time to observe what is happening inside the body. You will start feeling weighty around the chest area and there will be heaviness all around. May be some pain in the chest area too. This is what happens to your body when you’re hurt.
To release this hurt, you can simply say this in your heart and take deep breaths – “I choose to let go of this feeling of being hurt which I am carrying from this incident as well as from my parents, grandparents, ancestors or anyone in my family system.” By saying this, you’re not just releasing the hurt of this incident but also any other hurts that you’re carrying unconsciously.
Hence, the next time you feel confused with your emotions, follow these simple steps to understand the core emotion and release it. Remember, the emotions which are deep and are left unprocessed are carried over by the future generations. That’s why let’s release them now to create a peaceful future.